Poker, Ferrets, and Snakes


 A couple of nights ago, I played in a Cash Game at Matt’s (aka Aquaman’s), and had one of the worst nights I’ve had at the poker table – ever (I only won 2 or 3 small pots in four hours).  To add insult-to-injury, when I was dealt a playable hand; like when I hit a flush when my 5-6 of diamonds saw three diamonds on the board, I lost to a full house on the river.  And, when I finally got a pocket pair (Queens), I was felted when David, who arrived late and was playing his first hand of the night, flopped a King to go with his Ace-King.  However, it will be a game that I remember for a very long time, and NOT because of the cold deck.  Rather, it was a particular discussion that took place that makes it so memorable. You just never know what you’re going to hear at the poker table.  I’ll try to relate the story as accurately as possible, but I submit the disclaimer that my memory isn’t what it once was. :)     

One of our group’s most regular players is “Doc”, a very successful and experienced chiropractor.  As a matter-of-fact, not long ago, he was telling a few of us that he has performed over a half-million procedures!  Doc is also a very tough opponent “on the felt”; and, has been known to bluff on occasion.  However, I have no reason to believe that the story I’m about to relate is anything but the truth.    

The conversation began innocently enough with a general discussion about Doc’s practice; like where it’s located, and the fact that his daughter recently joined the practice.  I don’t recall exactly what, why, or who mentioned it (although it might have been Zack – maybe someone who was there can correct me if I’m wrong), but someone asked Doc if he had ever performed a chiropractic procedure on a ferret.  Doc gave a wry smile, paused, and then replied: “Yes, I have”.  Everyone was somewhat stunned, and someone asked for details.  So, Doc explained that one of his regular patients brought their pet ferret in because it had been attacked by a dog, and it’s back (I think), was messed up.  So, he performed an adjustment on the ferret (and healed it, I suppose).    

 Now, it gets even more interesting.  After a couple of minutes, someone jokingly asked: “Have you ever performed a procedure on a snake”?  I have no idea why they asked that, but they did.  Doc again sat back, smiled, and after a short pause replied: “Well, yes I have”.  Everyone at the table was even more stunned.  Without hesitation, he then explained the circumstances.  Another one of his regular patients had a pregnant Boa Constrictor (I think it was a Boa, or it could have been a Python), and had pre-sold the soon-to-be baby snakes to prospective customers.  Unfortunately, the expectant mama Boa had struck at something or someone and hit the glass wall of her “home”, thereby dislocating her jaw.  Suffering, and unable to eat, she was becoming weaker-and-weaker.   So, the desperate owner sought-out Doc to see if he could help.  He performed an adjustment on her to repair her injured jaw.  Several questions from the players ensued, for example, when asked if he had to sedate the snake, Doc said that she was in such a weakened state from her injury that it wasn’t necessary.  He didn’t say, but I assume that she made a full recovery, and delivered successfully.   

Boa Constrictor Skull: 


I thought I’d share this story, because it demonstrates yet another reason to gather around the poker table – you just never know what will occur!    

I’m not making this up; there were other witnesses there: Choo, Zack, Andre, Tariq, and Jason, among others.  In conclusion, was Doc just having fun and “bluffing” us?  Only he knows for sure. ;)

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2 Responses to Poker, Ferrets, and Snakes

  1. Chris W. says:

    That’s a crazy story, Bob. Glad to hear you’re still getting out to Matt’s place. He runs a great game.

  2. Zack says:

    I would tell other people that story, but I don’t think anyone would believe me!!! Heck I probably wouldn’t have believed it if anyone but Doc had told it…

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